Thursday, March 30, 2006

I Need Some of That Screech Stuff

Screech. You know. The uber-rum from Newfoundland the Yarn Harlot is always talking about.

I could use some. It seems to be very helpful in facing knitting dilemmas.

Last night I attempted to graft not one, but two, shoulder seams in a lace vest of my own design. What I do with lace is not true "grafting" -- otherwise fondly known as "Kitchener Stitch" or "The Joining Method From Devil's Swamp." Instead, it is a weird sort of chained duplicate stitch I have devised in an attempt to make the seam as invisible as possible. But I'll call it "grafting" for lack of a better term

Not only did I attempt to invent a new joining technique, but I did so after forgetting my close-up glasses at the office. I truly believed that if I sat under a bright enough light and concentrated hard enough, I could see better. Look:


















Can you find the shoulder join in the picture? Do you see the uneven join and the big glaring holes? Of course you do, and don't be nice and say you can't find them there where the shoulder of the vest is draped across the arm of the couch. The live armhole stitchs are on the needle at the bottom of the picture. By the time I noticed how hideous the join was, I had already picked up the armhole stitches.

Warning: do not attempt this in your own home. I am a professional idiot. Amateurs could damage themselves, the dog, or drywall.

Process:

Begin with 30 shoulder stitches on the left front shoulder panel of the vest, right side facing.

Work in pattern across row to end. Purl back to within 5 st. of edge. Wrap the next stitch and turn your work.

**Work across row in pattern, turn your work, purl back to within 5 st. of wrapped stitch. Wrap the next stitch and turn. Repeat from ** 3 times, purl back. Do not break yarn.

Continuing with working yarn, begin shoulder join as follows:

Line up 30 shoulder stitches on left front shoulder with 30 shoulder stitches on left back of vest.

**Graft.

Cuss.

Rip.

Repeat from ** until you have 31 stitches on the rear shoulder and 27 stitches on the front shoulder.

**Surprise yourself by cussing with words you didn't know you knew.

Rip.

Reconstruct shoulder, incorporating lace pattern into shaping.

Atempt to graft again.

Repeat from ** for 45 minutes. Scream in a deep and resonant manner. Pound vigorously on armrest of couch. (Pound on the chesterfield if you are in Canada). Watch terrified cats dive for cover. Cram wayward knitting into new bag which was a door prize at Stitches West.



Stomp to pantry, only to discover that you have no adult beverage of any kind whatsoever, much less the fabled Screech. Ingest over-the-counter sleep aid instead. Go to bed.

Wake up before dawn, reconstruct lace shoulder one last time in pattern, throw in nearest towel, use traditional 3 needle bind off and tell yourself the shoulder needed structural support anyway.

At least it's neat and tidy, yeh? Ca c'est bon.

--Mambocat

Note to self: do not make clumsy presbyopic attempts to invent new knitting techniques, especially in lace patterns, when excessively fatigued.





Thursday, March 16, 2006

Patching Things Up

I am still sans camera today. I hope to amend that situation soon.

I have to admit, I have become utterly spoiled by digital photography. While I am still deeply fond of our venerable, manual Canon film camera, which is older than a great many of my readers, I never carried it with me nearly all the time like I do nowadays with the digital.

The camera turns out to be hopelessly mutilated, but at least my photocard was unharmed. So while I don't have any brand-new photos for you, I can salvage photos up to Mardi Gras Day.

Speaking of which, thank you all for your concern about the Mardi Gras shooting incident. I'm fine. My co-worker is fine. There is still no word on the child in the crowd, but that's good news. It was diagnosed as a "graze wound" in the field, and if the child had had serious complications or died it would have made the news, and I have seen nothing more about it, so that is good news.

In the comments section for my last post, Teresa wondered why the New Orleans I describe here is so different than the New Orleans we are all seeing (or not seeing) on the national news in America.

I don't know if I have a straighforward answer for that, Teresa, outside of the fact that news reporters would rather cover stories about what is happening than to cover stories about what is not happening.

As a result, you see some coverage about people in the the un-flooded parts of town repairing wind-damaged homes and re-opening businesses. You hear about funds coming in. You hear about Members of Congress finally getting their Federal fannies down here 6 months later to have a gander at the worst-hit sections of the city.

But you don't see the vast chunks of the city still just sitting there, echoing and empty, rattling in the stiff March wind.

By the way, I'd like to mention to Wendy in England that we New Orleanians were deeply touched by the fact that Prince Charles and his wife not only visited New Orleans but actually got out in the middle of some of the worst-hit parts of towm, interacted with people directly, hugged folks and got their shoes dirty, which is more than most of our American Senators and Members of Congress have done. It was a deeply dignified and kind thing to do.

Thanks, Royals.

Some people are handling this whole Katrina thing with a staunch sense of humor. In the lower left on this vehicle's rump, you will see a standard local bumpersticker: "New Orleans: Proud to call it home." In the upper right quadrant, a new one: "New Oreans: Proud to swim home."

The obsessively clean, waxed and shiny car reflecting all this infomation, down there at the bottom of the picture? That is so definitely not my car.

To keep up with the beat of the city, both bad news and good cheer, check out the Times-Picayune's website, www.nola.com

However good the Times-Picayune's coverage of local issues may be, they just don't cover knitting as well as I would like, so, back to your regularly scheduled blogging ....

Here are a few random pre-Mardi Gras photos from the photo card extracted from my camera.

This is a shawl-in-progress lounging on my steering wheel while I wait for a drawbridge. The shawl wanted to have a look at the Ninth Ward.

And here I am having lunch with my sis-in-law Mary, a fairly new knitter. Mary is not in the picture because she was taking it. This is my "grin and bear it" face; mostly because at the time this picture was taken, I was trying to grin. I'm really not baring my teeth. I'm saying "take the picture!" through clenched teeth. And no, I did not knit the sweater in the picture, it is an elderly commercially knit garment which has become a "work sweater" because I can get it all doggy and just throw it in the washing machine.


Since I am bi-locating for work, I am also planning to bi-locate for knitting. As soon as Mom's house has electricity, I plan to bring knitting supplies there.

Now that I am spending a few nights a week in New Orleans, this will give me a chance to spend some time with my Mom and do some Design on a Dime and This Old House stuff in her little two bedroom cypress house, which I grew up in. Most of the walls are still lathe and plaster,

Since Dad died less than three weeks before Katrina, the artsy side of me wants to cheer the house for Mom. I know she (nor I ) will ever forget that Dad died in the rear bedroom, but I think some bright new colors along with the mandatory hurricane repairs will help, especially if I can encourage her to move into the front bedroom. This will give me some quality time with Mom, and a chance to brighten up the back bedroom and turn it into a proper guest room. The back room has a painted pine floor that really wants to be white, like a beach house, and the plaster walls are begging for a bright, non-neutral color.

The other day we got sort of carried away at Home Depot and bought a bunch of new light fixtures which the electrician will install by Monday, then all we have to do is wait about seventeen months for the city inspector to come by and say its safe to turn on the lights.

I also plan to make the back bedroom the place where the guest bed and my knitting machine live. I don't do much with the knitting machine at my own home, so this will be the perfect spot for it. Once the house is repaired, it will give me something different to do on the weeknights I spend in New Orleans, and I can use it to make a few interesting throw pillows for Mom, and to stash-bust a zillion odds and ends into cage cozies for the animal shelter.

Now this is the point where I know I need serious help.

I am seriously contemplating establishing a stash-busting endeavor at my mother's house involving a knitting machine and a substantial amount of yarn oddments.

I think this is a good idea because there is only one helpful feline to contend with at Mom's house, and he has to sleep sometime. Because our own household deities are even more fascinated with the knitting machine than they are with hand-knitting, continuous volunteer feline assistance makes it quite difficult to use the knitting machine at my own home. And on those rare occasions when I manage to evict them all from the room where the knitting machine is deployed, I find myself facing a continuous, piteous and highly distracting chorus of meowing and scratching at the door.

I am seriously contemplating a UFO stash at Mom's house, the idea being that if I have nothing but stash-buster cage cozies or UFOs to knit, that lots of animals will be warm next winter and UFOs will finish themselves.

In short, am seriously contemplating infecting not one, but two homes with my stash.

Let's vote:

__I am perfectly sane

__I need therapy

__I need medication

__I need therapy and medication

__I need chocolate

__I need beer

Your votes will be taken with utmost seriousness.

-- Mambocat



Thursday, March 09, 2006

This is a test of the Civil Defense Network.

This is only a test.


If this were an actual emergency, you would receive instructions as to where to stash your yarn to protect it from fire, flood, hurricanes, nuclear fallout and flying bullets.

This is only a test.


I am posting tonight to apologize for my lack of blogability over the past few weeks. My digital camera is gravely ill in the camera hospital, and the prognosis is not good.

This is entirely my fault, having removed said camera from its normal, safe routine of photographing cats, friends, family and knitted objects, and bringing it into a war zone.

Your blogger must confess that she damaged this innocent camera by using it to take evidence photos regarding an animal cruelty investigation during a Mardi Gras parade, and rather violently bashed the above-mentioned camera while evading gunfire immediately after the investigation.

Your blogger is not making this up.

The good news is, neither your blogger nor her fellow SPCA humane law enforcement officer were injured during the incident.

The VERY bad news, the awful and most seriously UN-FUNNY part, is that a kid was hit. Only grazed by a bullet, Dios Gracias, but hit nonetheless, because some crackhead was nursing an old sore involving the SPCA, and he opened fire into a parade crowd when he saw our vehicle at the scene.

Just a two-year-old kid. God, what an awful way to get started in life.

Please note that the gunman was an entirely different crackhead than the one we were investigating, who had also opened fire into the crowd 45 minutes earlier, but that particular crackhead shot another crackhead's pit bull.


That gunman did not miss the dog, which is why we the SPCA was called to the scene.

Please note that my use of the term "crackhead" is based on offical New Orleans Police terminology, specifically, "buncha *&%$#! crackheads with guns, it's been like this all *&%$#! day and people are still only half-drunk, wait till it gets dark!"

It is also safe to assume that crack, guns and excessive amounts of alcohol are not recommended in any combination.

So here we have a child being hit by a bullet because two SPCA officers show up to do their job, their presence being required because some other lunatic with a gun, pimping his pit bull in the middle of the Zulu parade in the Desire Street projects, shot a different guy's pit bull. And this happened despite the presence of about a zillion parade spectators and 37 New Orleans cops deployed throughout the crowd in that block.

Welcome to Post-Katrina New Orleans, which, upon close inspection, very closely resembles a Mad Max movie, or Waterworld, or maybe a Salvador Dali painting. Or all three at once.

Here is what makes me so very angry: the Zulu Parade on Mardi Gras Day is supposed to be sacred. It is supposed to be a time and place for people of all colors and class levels to come together to celebrate Mardi Gras in peace, in a spirit of camaraderie, in joy and brotherhood. It is supposed to be a place where children can safely enjoy the festivities of Mardi Gras Day, to hear the music and see the magnificent costumes of the African-American Mardi Gras "Indian" Tribes, and maybe,if you are very lucky, to catch a rare and special hand-decorated coconut at the Zulu parade.

And is has been defiled by violence.

Do you know that my blogname, "Mambocat" derives from mambo music? Most people are familiar with the "Mardi Gras Mambo," one of the many traditional tunes of Mardi Gras Day.


So I feel defiled at several levels.

Now, I had planned to regale you folks with all kinds of wonderful photos from STITCHES WEST, which I was given a scholarship to attend by a wonderfully generous person who still (annoyingly) insists on remaining anonymous, but who I still thank from the bottom of my bottomless heart, whoever you are, and I do hope you are reading this.

And I was also going to regale you all with a lot of other photos of knitted objects, and more news from the Cajun-American Knitting Olympics team.

But until my photocard is extracted from the smashed camera by someone who actually knows what they are doing, you guys are just going to have to read plain old ordinary words.

I have learned a few things as a result of this incident:

1. The New Orleans Police Department can extract SPCA officers from a gunfire zone at warp speed.

2. My fellow officer is amazingly cool under gunfire. She can get shot at, drive a big truck really fast, and not hit pedestrians, all at the same time.

3. I vastly surprised myself by remaining relatively calm myself, but

4. ...doing so with utter disregard for the fate of my camera.

So...

I appreciate your patience and your readership.

Especially your readership, since I will not have pictures for a few days.

Best regards.

Mambocat

P.S. -- as a result of the incident described above, Iwe had to appear in court on the day after Mardi Gras for arraignment of the perps. Mind you, court in Post-Katrina New Orleans is being conducted on folding cafeteria tables in a gutted courthouse with computer wires and cables strung along the floor. It's like being in court in a third-world country.

NOTE TO READERS: for even more fun than Mardi Gras Day itself, just hang out in criminal court for arraignments the morning after Mardi Gras.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Knitting Olympics Scandal

PRESS RELEASE

It is with great regret that I must turn in members of my own Cajun-American Olympic Knitting Team for recently discovered use of steroids. Please don't put them in jail over there in Italy, just send them home so I can put them back in the stash for rehab, okay?

But how can I turn a blind eye to evidence like this? Caught in the act!


















I have no choice but to discharge these members, as well as the rest if the Koigu Shawl Team from the Knitting Olmypics, leaving only the yarn in the Official Irish Drinking Hat Yarn Team to compete in the games.

As the coach, I am shocked and horrified, but I have no choice but to replace these team members.

And it gets worse. Only moments after discovering two of my finest and most promising athletes lolling around on the actual bottle of steroids, I walk into the next room only to find this:

My assistant coach, completey wasted, absolutely loaded, passed out on the bed from catnip abuse.

What is the world coming to?

I cannot hold my head up in public today. Instead, I shall give the Official Irish Drinking Hat Team a good pep talk and pack my bags for Stitches. I need to get my mind off this.

--Mambocat

Thursday, February 09, 2006

As if things didn't suck enough yet in New Orleans...

We have had two tornadoes and a major fire in the past several days.

The tornadoes ripped up the airport and added insult to injury in one of the worst-flooded parts of town, shredding some houses whose owners had already begun to gut and repair.


Now they get to start over.

The fire took out a historic movie theater, a theater where I remember seeing "Godzilla" as a child. Low water pressure in the city required the intervention of helicopter bucket brigades, bringing back shudders from the days immediately after Katrina, when we watched our home town burn and flood at the same time.


I'll write about knitting next time.

--Mambocat

Thursday, January 26, 2006

KIP and FOs in NOLA


Coming up for air after my first several weeks in my new job, I finally took advantage of Ray Whiting's invitation to the Southern Purls Knitter's Meetup at Cafe Luna in New Orleans.


Cafe Luna is an independent coffeehouse at the intersection of Magazine Street and Nashville Avenue, ensconced in the larger section of a sprawling, subdivided Victorian house with a huge porch to enjoy when the weather is fine, which is precisely twenty-seven days of each year, those days drawn at random by the Weather Goddess between Halloween and St. Patrick's Day.

Of course, I did not have a face to put with any name (not even a description!) when I passed through the doors of this venerable neighborhod institution, but when I spotted a male human wearing this vest, I did what any other person who reads KnitU would have done:





















I said, "Hi, Ray!

And was not incorrect.

Ray, will you please identify the nice knitter posng with you?

I was immediately introduced to an entire roomful of new-to-me knitters and was swamped with a truckload of names. There were 23 knitters present, some brand-new and others with decades of knitting under their belts. Here are a few of them:

















I can't put faces with names at present, but I hope to remedy this situation at future meetings .

Many Southern Purls knitters are working on items for Bundle Up New Orleans to distribute hats, gloves and other warm accessories to those in need for the remainder of the winter.

Approaching Finished Object status is a vest I am knitting for my Mom's birthday. I've completed it up to the armpits.

Whoops, sorry, Moms don't have armpits, they have underarms. So it's finished up to the underarms. Tonight I divide fore and aft for a cardigan front. Fronts first, then the back, and I shall be done.

















It is not quite as pink as it looks in this photo. It is more of a true mauve. I am having issues with the flash on this digital camera, which is entirely different from the flash on an old-fashioned manual camera. I still don't comprehend the lack of proper F-stops.

On to Finished Objects.

Here is one of our cats, Seven, modeling the red cotton perle shawl I just finished.

Okay, I still need to tuck in the loose ends and block it, but it's done, anyway. I will provide a blocked photo later.

Both Seven, who is an exceedingly large cat, and the shawl are deployed across the only full-size quilt I have ever finished. It's not a true quilt, in that I did not sew together lots of itty-bitty pieces of fabric and then quilt them.

What I did was this: I bought two white sheets and tie-dyed them to make a duvet for a warm but bedraggled commercial quilt, and then I got tired of the old quilt shifting around inside the new duvet, so I tie-quilted it. For the past several years it has served us well.


















Below is a closer view of the stitchwork. You may remember the first few inches of this shawl from my blog archives at the beginning of the summer of 2005, which was my inflight knitting for a conference in the days before I was distracted by Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita. It is a deep blood-red but, as stated above, I am having some issues with overflash on my digital camera, even when I use the zoom properly.


















More photos of finished and, hopefully, blocked items will be coming soon to a blog near you as I hurry to finish items both for Mom's birthday and also so I can be ready to participate in the Yarn Harlot's Knitting Olympics. To enter the Knitting Olympics, visit Steph's fabulous blog at:

www. yarnharlot.ca/blog/

Right now, as the official representative of the Cajun-American Knitting Team, I am in training.

Mambocat

Sunday, January 15, 2006

We Had a Blue-Roof Christmas, That's Certain ....

Christmas has come and gone, and things are starting to look just a little bit hopeful in some parts of New Orleans. Somebody finally picked up the coffin lid wedged amongst a pile of debris on the narrow slice of grassy median in the section of the New Orleans Expressway, which cuts through the vast cemetery district of the city. Uptown, a number of residents have moved back home, many of the traffic signals are operating, and people are able to buy gas, groceries, prescriptions and other essentials. Coffee shops, bistros, neighborhood sandwich shops and gift stores are reopening.

Some of the toxic refrigerators still yearning for pick-up have begun to break out in a rash of holiday messages...

























And many optimistic residents have decorated the edges of their blue-tarp roofs with holiday lighting. Inflatable Santas and snowmen stand cheerfully in the yards of damaged homes with FEMA trailers parked in the front yard. One jokester has arranged a small herd of white-light wire reindeer frolicking among the branches of a downed pecan tree.

Many FEMA trailers sport a string of mini-lights deployed around the door and windows, but most trailer occupants report there's not enough room iside for even the tiniest tabletop tree. But there's enough room outside for an inflatable Abominable Snowman...


















I also saw, but couldn't stop to photograph, a Star of David shining brightly from a window of a FEMA trailer standing bravely alone in a devastated part of Broadmoor.

And likewise that unsinkable spirit prevailed at my aunt and uncle's house on Christmas Day, where family gathered for Christmas dinner. Christmas lights and bright wreaths decorated their home beneath a new-roof-in-progress. Only one remaining section of their roof sported a blue tarp flapping in the breeze.

Living in the suburbs snuggling up to the Mississippi River levees west of New Orleans, they are among the very lucky people of the New Orleans area. Their home suffered no flooding and they were finally able to get an affordable roof contractor. I'm still trying to get a roofer for my Mom's house who doesn't think I am stupid enough to pay $20,000 for new 10-year shingles all over, and new roof decking over the kitchen and utility room.

So I took a photo of Aunt Miki with the shawl I knitted her for Christmas. This Christmas is special for her because 2005 was the year she turned eighty and finally retired.

I can't belive it either.
























She likes shades of teal, but isn't fond of fringe, so I bordered this mohair shawl with a simple crocheted edge of teal chenille several shades darker than the shawl itself. It also gives this very light shawl just enough weight to drape upon, and not cling, to her shoulders.

Don't be too impressed, though (assuming that you are mpressed at all). I pulled a major knitterly boner.

I was so preoccupied fiddling around with the available light and exposure settings on the digital camera, which are so vastly different from the old faithful Canon AE-1 manual, that I entirely failed to notice that my aunt had been holding up the shawl in such a manner that she could admire the right side of the work ...

....and I photographed the wrong side. Perhaps I had just a wee bit too much Christmas cheer and should have relied upon the automatic flash instead. But nooooooo ......

Anyway......

One of my cousins, Pam, and her husband, Scott, hosted Christmas at their own home for Scott's relatives, all of whom lost their homes to Katrina. Scott figured that if he was the only one with an actual house, they should host Christmas dinner there for Scott's family, under an actual roof.

So Christmas was enjoyed by all in our own family, and 2006 was greeted warmly. It feels good to put 2005 behind us and look forward to the coming year as the beginning of hope, rebuilding and renewal for our area. Besides, 2005 was a difficult year for me and my family personally, even without Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita.

The last four months of 2005 remain a blur of fur and paws, mud and heat, sweat and aches, flood stink, sleep deprivation, exhaustion and despair. But also whirling about in that same blur are the little flickers of hope in the crisis, many rescues, some joyous reunions, and the constant reminder of the fact that, in the midst of crisis, those who rose to the occasion did so heroically, relentlessly and with good hearts.

The animals made it all worthwhile.


































Wishing you all happy year with exceedingly boring weather ....

make that no weather at all ... not one tiny bit ...

Mambocat

Thursday, December 08, 2005


"You can knit a sweater by the fireside...Sunday mornings, go for a ride..." -- John Lennon

Today's post is dedicated to the memory of John Lennon, who was murdered 25 years ago today.

So, dear knitters, whilst I prepare my next knitting post and try to get back on track with my knitting blog, and reel it back in to the topic of knitting, where were YOU when you learned that John Lennon had been shot?

I was in college at Louisiana State University. I was working at the campus radio station, WPRG-FM, which is where I met my husband. There was a spontaneous memorial the following night, held on the levee, next to the Mississippi River. Thousands of people were there. It was cold and damp and windy. I wore a favorite knit scarf and sweater under my windbreaker. We all held candles and cupped the flames in our palms so the wind wouldn't extinguish them. Many people brought guitars. We sang "Give Peace a Chance" and other songs. We cried and hugged each other.

Yes John, we will still need you when we're sixty-four. And for long after that.

My guitar gently weeps.

--Mambocat

Monday, November 28, 2005

I Have A Non-Knitting Announcement to Make...

I am taking on a new job.

This took a lot of soul-searching, because the East Baton Rouge Parish Animal Control Center is a fine agency, and I feel a great deal of loyalty to the animal shelter itself, to my boss, to our veterinarian and to my co-workers. I am leaving some of the finest people I have ever worked with in my life, but I am moving on to work with some equally fine people.

I have been offered a job as director of operations for LA/SPCA in New Orleans, and I have accepted, but not for the salary increase alone. There are much deeper forces at work here.

Hurricane Katrina has irrevocably changed something inside me. The day I watched New Orleans drown was the most horrifying and shocking day of my life -- more awful than 9-11.

I grew up in New Orleans, and, when I was old enough to go to college, I wanted to get out and stay out, as young people often do. In order to become yourself, you usually have to get both physically and spiritually away from your roots.

But watching New Orleans drown, watching fires within the flood, working in the animal rescue efforts after Katrina, hearing tales of survival, witnessing parts of the ghastly aftermath firsthand, and being a small part of the vast effort to rescue animals and reclaim my hometown ... all of these things have flipped a switch inside me. And just as a vagabond youth comes rushing home when news arrives that a loved one is at death's door, so do I feel compelled to be directly involved in picking up what is left of my hometown and trying to breathe new life into it. It's like giving blood, or even a kidney, to a loved one whose life is on the line. There is no explanation for the motivation to do so. You just have to do it.

This is going to be a tremendous challenge. During the three days before Hurricane Katrina hit, the LA/SPCA evacuated all of the animals from their landmark shelter at 1319 Japonica Street, in the heart of the flood-ravaged Ninth Ward. But that shelter is now completely unsalvagable. Below you will see a photo of the ruined SPCA lobby after the floodwater was drained. Bad enough, I suppose, but this isn't the worst part by a long shot. It actually doesn't look so bad compared to the rest of the building.

We couldn't even get into some other parts of the building.

The new shelter will be constructed directly across the Mississippi River from downtown New Orleans, in an area which does not flood.

We get to transform an old coffee warehouse, with half a roof and no plumbing except for a toilet and washstand, into an animal shelter. We get to live and work in FEMA trailers while we do it. And we need to do this within the next two years.

After that, there are long-term plans for LA/SPCA to build a regional shelter, inland, high and dry. This shelter will also serve as a regional emergency preparedness center for animal evacuees during future hurricanes or floods. It is extremely likely that this regional shelter will be in, or very near, Baton Rouge. This shelter will be able to serve the entire region. Like Lou Reed said, "It's the beginning of a great adventure."

I won't be moving to New Orleans. I will be commuting.

Some of my friends and co-workers see my new job as a well-deserved promotion, some folks think I am insane to even consider commuting, some people are just plain happy for me, and a few think I am quite mad to accept a job "patching up the Titanic."

But to me, New Orleans is not the Titanic. I may choose to live in Baton Rouge, but New Orleans is home, and I cannot stand by without attempting to revive it. And if it were not for the lessons I learned as a child from my family and from the example set by the good people of 1319 Japonica Street, I might not be doing what I am doing today. This is a chance to close the circle and pay back with thanks.

And so that is my news.


And Now For An Important Knitting Annoucement:

It's almost time to send those cage cozies. The warehouse is being repaired and renovated into a permanent animal shelter, but at the same time, it is being used as an emergency shelter. As yet, there is no climate control. This building promises a chill, damp winter for the animals. Cage cozies are needed in both 18" by 18" size for cats and small dogs and in baby blanket size for larger pets. Gather up those cozies you have been making and in the next few days I will be able to post maling instructions.

And A Few Mundane Updates:

My hiding place is making a bit of progress. I have discovered that I can fit a considerable portion of my stash into this little space, along with my spinning wheel, a stool, a small mattress, and a bunch of pillows. A progress report is forthcoming.

Several shawls are finishing themselves at the same time. Don't ask me how this happened, but it is a very good thing, because I have only six inches done on the alpaca lace vest I am making Mom for Christmas. Photos of FOs and WIPs should be coming soon.

Now I have to get busy untangling myself from my current job and getting ready for my new one.

More soon....

--Mambocat


Sunday, November 13, 2005

Tiger Feet

If anyone ever tells my mother that I am taking pictures of my feet and putting them on the Internet, she will absolutely faint, even though after forty-mumble years of my existence, she should be accustomed to this sort of oddity coming from me.

And it will do no good whatsoever to inform Mom that a great many other people in this world regale the Internet with photos of body parts far more alarming than feet.

Nor will it do any good to tell her that all the other knitters are putting pictures of their own be-socked feet on the Internet.

"All the other kids are doing it" didn't work in high school, either.

But anyway, here are my feet.

Mom, please note that they are very modestly encased in wooly socks. You canot tell from the still photo, but I am wiggling my toes in delight.

I am pickled tink and deeply honored to report that I have received this gift of a very special pair of Tiger Feet from Master Sock-Knitter Joan Richardson of Baton Rouge.

Although these are made from the new, more truly tiger-colored version of Opal Tiger, these are no ordinary socks. Only people who have knee injuries, specifically a torn AL, get a pair of these socks from Joan, and that honor has, to date, been reserved only for women on the LSU women's basketball team. However, having managed to injure my knee and damage an AL this summer (see my earlier post in the archive from this past summer: Knit One, Patella Two), Joan has decided that I deserve a pair of these magnificent socks.

Joan, I am delighted with these socks and wish to thank you in public, on the Internet, for this wonderful gift. I plan to wear them on game days for the LSU women's basketball team for good luck for the team and of course during LSU baseball games as well.

And here they are, sans pieds, displayed upon the Jupiter Gravity Couch at our house:


What, you may ask, is a Jupiter Gravity Couch?

That is a perfectly reasonable question, which deserves a perfectly reasonable answer.

The Jupiter Gravity Couch began as a sturdy, well-made sofa bed with a comfortable mattress but a poorly made pull-out metal bedframe. When after much use, it finally twisted into a pretzel and firmly refused to fold back into the couch, I simply disassembled it, tossed the frame at the curb, folded the mattress into thirds, and placed it in the gaping rectangular hole left behind by the previous mattress-frame combo.

But oops! Being frameless, the folded mattress was far too shallow when the seat cushions were replaced.

So, I inserted a thick chunk of sofa-seat-sized furniture foam, wisely covered in plastic, at floor level, and place the mattress on top of that.

Still too shallow.

Another layer of furniture foam was placed atop that. And finally, the seat cushions were put in place
.

The end result is that, after a great deal of cussing at inanimate objects and dis-assembly of cheap frame components, I achieved in a weekend afternoon something that the world's greatest physicists have been working on fruitlessly for decades:

I have achieved Jupiter Gravity on Earth.

Once you sit -- or worse, lie down upon -- this couch, it is physically impossible to get up.

So. It is Sunday afternoon. I have some important decisions and plans to make this afternoon, which I shall announce to all of you very soon.

I think I will retire to the Jupiter Gravity Couch for awhile now, to sit and contemplate my future.

Thanks again, Joan!

--Mambocat


Sunday, November 06, 2005

My Hiding Place

Our house started out as a wee, two-bedroom, welcome-home-GI house built in 1947. Over the years and through various owners it was expanded a bit, and, amongst the eccentric add-ons is a wee loft over the den, the addition of which happened sometime in the late 1970s.

For many years this loft housed a futon mattress, which often served as sleeping space for guests willing and able to climb the steep, ship-like ladder-stairs to the loft. And I admit that it was often -- make that "usually" -- a bit overcrowded with large boxes full of miscellaneous household items.


It was also a good nap, reading, and, of course, knitting spot.

Best of all, it sports a small, operable skylight so you can invite the breeze in on fine days.

It's like having an indoor treehouse.

For several months, I've been of a mind to convert this space to a real knitting nest, and Hurricane Katrina has forced my hand. After the first few days of seeing Mom trying to be comfortable on the lumpy sofa-bed in the den, I was inspired to buy a new futon frame, drag the mattress down out of the loft, and set up the futon in a small room downstairs so Mom could be more cozy.

This left me with a (mostly) empty loft to clean and de-junkify.

So. Now I get to play "Design On A Dime." To wit, I plan to transform the former sleeping space and junk storage loft to a cozy knitting and spinning nest.

The floor space you see is only 8 feet by 8 feet, and the side wall where the pictures are is only about 40 inches high, so I will not attempt to store much of my stash up here, aside from works-in-progress. One can't exactly stand up in this space (perhaps the Yarn Harlot could) but one certainly can lounge around in it or sit on a spinning stool or in a not-so-big chair. I am inclined to make use of my existing cot-mattress and pillows so I can lounge around like a sultan while Iknit.

So, what to do?

Perhaps I shall paint the walls. Perhaps not.

I will definitely rearrange the pictures on the wall into a more fetching configuration, and perhaps add or delete a few of them.

I do plan to stock that little shelving nook (3 feet high, one foot wide) with my favorite knitting books.

I also want to lug my spinning wheel and spinning stool up there, and bring up some of my covered baskets full of fleece and spinning supplies. I might even have room for my Navajo loom. The loom is a tad over four feet tall and the space where I want to put the loom is a little under 50 inches tall. It will just exactly fit.

I considered scavenging a bit of leftover carpet from a friend in the construction business, but decided that it's easier to clean cat vomit off the painted wood floor.

Just in case you are not familiar with the Captive Feline Code of Ordinances, I shall quote:

Title 14, Section 201:3; Placement of Hairballs and Liquid Vomitus in Human Habitations

(k.) Felines residing with humans who have installed new carpet at any location in the human dwelling are obliged by this section to deposit hairballs, liquid vomitus and insects and/or grass rejected by the stomach upon new carpeting within twelve hours of installation, and as often as possible thereafter until said carpet is sufficiently stained to match other carpet elsewhere in the human dwelling.

So. There you have it, in writing. I might add that it took a considerable bribe of tuna and sardines to obtain that information from a certain feline member of our household, who, for his own safety, shall remain unnamed.

So, dear readers -- ideas and suggestions?

What would you do if you had such a small space and wanted to squeeze in the following items:

1. A trunk and several Rubbermaid bins of yarn stash and WIPs

2. Several baskets of fleece and spinning supplies.

3. A small cot mattress (28" by 72") to be set along one wall with a convention of pillows upon it.

4. Knitting books.

5. Etc.?

Welcoming input from you all ...

--Mambocat








Monday, October 24, 2005

Red Hats

Is it just me, or is anyone else out there puzzled by all these Red Hat Societies?

I am, and I shall tell you why.

The poem goes, "when I am an old woman, I shall wear purple, with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me."

You ever see one of these Red Hat Societies? First, they are usually in the Society section of the paper, which is exceedingly proper, and second, those ladies' hats, albeit red, certainly do coordinate with their purple dresses, and suit them quite nicely. Granted, a lot of these Red Hat Societies are doing wonderful charitable work, but gals, puh-leeze -- stop coordinating.

Not matching is a principle concept. Along with learning how to spit. Okay?

So here is my contribution to the subject of aging:


When I am an Old Woman,

I shall wear enormous sweaters
With faded jeans and old roper boots.
And I shall spend my Social Security checks on yarn and cat food
And live entirely on tea, cheese and bread.
I shall sit on the porch on fall evenings,
With my feet propped up on the porch rail
And I shall knit and watch the sun go down
And nibble on chocolate all the while.

When I am an old woman I will spend all the time I want
With cats and dogs
Knowing that their love is unconditional
And, if they could speak and had thumbs,
That they would care for me if my old bones and addled brain
Fail to allow me to care for myself.

I will hang out in bookstores, sleep late every day,
Go to baseball games
And be glad for the warmth of my cats on the bed at night.
I will write long letters, full of unsolicited advice,

in my own handwriting,
and send them to my relatives,
And I shall knit blankets for each of my friends.

When I am an old woman I shall ride horses
Old horses, like me
They won't have to go fast because I will want to see

everything that goes by.
I shall stroke my cats and take naps with my dog
I shall incessantly wear a tired rain hat (the tan canvas one),
And take walks in the woods on foggy mornings.

I shall flip the bird to bad drivers and cuss whenever I want to
and I shall drive an old car covered in bumperstickers,
advising those behind me of my opinions.

I shall cut my hair close, and not give a damn if my butt looks big
Or if people think I talk too much
I shall not apologize for inconsequential matters,
Or explain myself to anyone.

Old women can get away with things.

-- Mambocat


copyright (c) 2005 Dez Crawford; all rights reserved

Monday, October 17, 2005

'Nuff Said ...

This photo, taken at the end of Magazine Street, about a mile from my mother's home and only two blocks away from New Orleans' Audubon Zoo, says it all. The building is a former corner grocery, deli and sandwich shop.

This area was not flooded. This is wind damage.

This photo was taken on my weekly trip into New Orleans to salvage a carload of belongings from Mom's house. Residents are slowly trickling back into the city. It will be a long, long time before most of New Orleans looks like anything besides a war zone.

New Orleans remains predominantly empty and eerily silent, with only the sound of the occasional car, military vehicle or debris truck passing by. While I was loading a box of Mom's clothes into my Volkswagen, I heard southbound geese honking overhead.

That's right. I heard them.

I looked up, expecting low-flying, feathered 747s to be directly over my head. They were not. Instead, I saw a skein of about twenty Canadian geese in a ragged V, urgently flapping their way southbound at the usual altitude.

Way up there.

That's how quiet it is in New Orleans. It is quiet the way the desert is quiet. Quiet like an empty house -- you can hear your own voice echoing off the neighbor's houses.

Walking back from the car, I could hear Mom's neighbor, Clint, listening to a news radio program. It was a fine October day, so his windows were open. Clint has moved back home and is one of the few people living full-time on Mom's block.

Out in Mom's backyard -- or at least the junk pile that used to be Mom's back yard -- I could hear him walk across the wooden floor of his apartment, cough, sneeze, open and then close the refrigerator door. I heard an aluminum can go, "pffsst."

He came out onto his porch, followed by his dogs. He wore a T-shirt, shorts and Birkenstocks, and was carrying a can of Coke. "Y'all doing okay?" he asked in a cheerful, mellow tone.

I told him we were packing a carload and waiting for the FEMA inspector. I told him the Army Corp of Engineers had failed to notice the "obstruction" on the roof when they taped their checklist to Mom's door.

"You mean the pecan tree?" Clint said, astonished. "They didn't see the pecan tree?"

We laughed and shook our heads. I patted his dogs. He told me he'd set his fridge at the curb when he got home and was lucky enough to be able to find a small, dormitory-type refrigerator to replace it. His landlord, so far, has refused to replace anything. The ceiling of Clint's apartment is leaking because the roof is gone from the apartment above his. Those tenants came in to salvage some belongings, piled what was ruined at the curb, and went back to their temporary digs out of town. The Corps of Engineers gave them a blue roof tarp, but it still leaks a bit when it rains.

We commented on the silence. No car alarms, no air conditioning compressors cycling on and off, no songbirds, no airbrakes from the city busses, no earth-shaking teenage car stereos. None of the usual urban audio mishmash.

The shipping docks a few blocks away are silent. The loading stations at the docks and grain elevators are silent. There is no ambient traffic noise. Each passing vehicle is an individual audio experience.

The only steady sound is the breeze, and an occasional human voice or barking dog.

But signs of life and occupancy are beginning to show. Some stores are open part time. The neighborhood bakery and coffee house is open. So is a neighborhood sandwich shop. The grocery is supposed to re-open next week. A convenience store, although the shelves are mostly empty, has some chips, bottled water and soda. They also have fuel -- not scandalously expensive, either.

The city is starting to relax a little, too. Quite a few taverns are open for business -- after all, this is New Orleans -- and a few restaurants are open as well. The curfew is now only from midnight till six a.m. Military humvees, which were cruising around last week with the doors removed and four heavily armed soldiers to a vehicle, are now riding around with the doors on, and only one soldier riding shotgun.

The perfume of the city is slowly transitioning from Flood Funk to Rotting Garbage as residents deposit their ruined refrigerators and freezers at the curb.

When your fridge has been sitting for six weeks, full of groceries, with no electricity, you don't empty it and clean it with bleach and a scrub pad. You sling about forty yards of duct tape around it and deposit it at the curb, or in the median if your street has one. The medians (called "the neutral ground" in New Orleans) have become the unofficial dump sites for the citizens of the Big Easy.

I have learned a lot of things about the refrigerators of New Orleans in the past several weeks.

1. There are way more refrigerators on any given city block than you would think possible. There must be people living in laundry rooms and attics.

2. Freezer-on-top, fridge-on-bottom is far more popular than side-by-side or any other style.

3. White refrigerators. New Orleanians really like white refrigerators.

Being the sort of person who wonders about this sort of thing, Mambocat is naturally pondering -- if you took all the refrigerators sitting at curbside and on the medians in the city of New Orleans and stacked them into various configurations:

1. How many Great Pyramids could you build?

2. Would they reach the moon if you stacked them all atop one another?

3. How many times would they go around the Earth at the Equator?

Or, from a more pragmatic point of view: If we duct-tape all of those refrigerators together:

1. Could we landfill the entire city and raise it to, say, 85 feet above sea level, if we compressed the fridges and started filling up the Big Soup Bowl we call home?

2. Could we use them like bricks in the world's most amazing levee system, made entirely from recycled refrigerators? Come to think of it, we also have about 350,000 ruined cars and busses to throw in this pile, too.

It would take a lot of duct tape, but we could do it.

It seems like most of the contents of many residents' homes have been piled at curbside. Any given street looks like a landfill with an aisle down the middle for cars to pass through.

Even in the rare neighborhoods where houses were not invaded by floodwater, at least half the homes suffered sufficient roof damage to have earned a heavy-duty blue plastic roof tarp courtesy of the Army Corp of Engineers. These houses display large piles of mildewed belongings at the curb.

And that's just what's been set outside by the relatively small number of people who have already come home to stay, to clean up, to rebuild.

I placed a bunch of junk from Mom's yard at the curbside. The FEMA guy showed up. His name was John Swider and he was exceedingly nice to my mother. He, too, was amazed that the Corps of Engineers had not noticed the pecan tree engulfing the rear of the house. He made note of the fact that the fallen tree had wrecked the utility connection, which is why Mom has no electricity even though her neighbors finally got their power about a week ago. He informed my mother that her house would be unsafe to live in until the tree was removed, any needed repairs were made to the roof beneath it, and, most importantly, until the utility connection was inspected and repaired so the house would not catch on fire. Mom signed some papers and the FEMA guy went on his way..

While cleaning up his own yard after Katrina, Clint found this flag on the ground, shredded and knotted by the wind. He hung it carefully from the small crepe myrtle tree in his front yard.

Clint put the flag on the tree. Katrina put the stuffed animal in it.

In the background, you can see a pile of brush in front of the neighbor's house across the street. The family in the adjacent house cleaned up their yard and carted off the mess.

What you don't see is cars parked along the street. To me, the street looks amazingly wide.

Only a native New Orleanian can fully appreciate the true magnitude of vacancy in the city if there are places to park.

The people in the pink house in the background had little damage. In fact, most of the houses on that side of the street suffered only minor roof damage, lost shutters and a few broken windows. The grass is about a foot tall after marinating in the knee-deep flood water which covered the streets, but it didn't rise high enough in this part of town to invade houses, unless they were newer homes -- built on slab foundations -- or ground-level apartments beneath older homes.

Mom's side of the street (the side where the flag is) is heaped with garbage bags and debris. Three doors down, the young couple living in the ground-level apartment of a two-story home had piled nearly all their belongings at the curb. When we drove off, they were hauling out a roll of dripping, reeking carpet. They wore masks and gloves. Garbage bags, bottles of bleach and other cleaning implements were stacked on their patio table. They waved at us. Their dog wagged his tail.

So very sad, so very amazing. I am proud of my hometown.

--Mambocat

Copyright (c) 2005 Dez Crawford; all rights reserved

Gotta Admire This

Went down to New Orleans today to meet with the FEMA inspector for my mother's house. While she is fortunate enough not to be flooded, she does have a downed fence, downed power lines, and a fairly large pecan tree sprawled out on her roof and blocking the rear entrance/exit to the house. FEMA, wisely, considers this Unsafe to Live In.

Interestingly, when the Army Corps of Engineers made their inspection a few days prior, they left Mom a note advising her that she did not qualify for the Blue Roof program (a sturdy tarp secured inplace until your roof can be fixed). If you enlarge the picture, you can see that one of the things they checked off was "no visible damage" to the roof.

But they also did not check off the last option: "obstruction on roof."

Guess they didn't see this.:


Of course, I admit that a pecan tree on the roof does tend to preclude one from seeing visible damage.

Hm.

--Mambocat