Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Winn-Dixie Check-Out Truthiness

Today we have a quickie blog post because it was a long, weird, day involving yet another driver running into my vehicle du jour, this time while I was not even in it.

This time it was a hit-and-run driver, which is almost as good as an uninsured stripper (see my November 21 post).

But more on the car later. I just can't talk about cars right now without stammering and drooling and looking for things to break.

Good thing I already put away Mom's china.

Today I went to Winn-Dixie, among other things.

You know how sometimes you are standing in line in the grocery, and the total stranger in front of you, who is flipping through a magazine, suddenly turns around and requests your opinion on something amazing in People, Time, or Cosmo?

That person is usually me -- except I am the one who is knitting out of my purse and waving a sharp needle at the cover of the magazine to be sure your attention is correctly focused.

But today I got the tables turned on me. The lady in front of me spun around and thrust in my face a tabloid with a big ole honkin' picture of Britney Spears on the cover, and these were her exact words:

Magazine Lady: "Hey, ya see this headline?" The Magazine Lady is pointing to the cover and reading it out loud: "Britney's Parents Plead With Her To Stop Partying With Paris Hilton Before She Loses Custody of Kids!"

Me: "I'd love to hear that conversation..."

Magazine Lady: "What do her parents expect her to do, go home to Kentwood** and act like she was brought up right? Honey, she didn't learn how to act like trash in California, that's how she got there!"


** I feel obliged to add an explanatory note for readers not hailing from Louisiana. If Britney had not become famous, she would, at this exact point in the space-time continuum, be hearing something eerily similar from her mother: "Britney, if you don't quit working at that strip club and stop partying all night with that girl 'Destiny,' the courts are gonna take away your kids!"

Same conversation. Less money.


At 2:30 AM, Blogger sogalitno said...


At 8:51 AM, Anonymous Kathy said...

I like that lady! Re: the car: my husband was attending a 7 am orthodontic appt. His was the only car in the lot. Guess what? A lady hit him. Fortunately she guessed what office to go to since the orthodontist was the only professional with ridiculously convenient hours. I hope your Car-ma improves real soon.

At 7:36 PM, Anonymous oneken/unokhan said...

peeps r drivin totally nuts right now --it always happens during this season of imperative buying-- it's a time not designed for the rational.

i didn't quite LOL but my diaphragm wiggled, hehe-- glad you ran into that crazy ol magazine lady.


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